Walk Away
by kirana44
Summary: "Looking out at the globe from the window I have so often stood by, alone and not, I feel a strange sense of calm. Now, everything is going to end..." Shadow-centric fic set during the Last Story of Sonic Adventure 2, hints of ShadAmy. Oneshot.


**Authors Note:** Like Sleeping Sun, this is based on two things: A song and a quote. The Song is "Walk Away" by Five Finger Death Punch (andas such the song belongs to them), and when I heard this song (before hearing the lyrics), I thought it so suited Shadow's attitude during SA2:B. I then found the lyrics and realised it was about a break-up, where the bloke's saying "it's not that I don't love you anymore; I just never cared to begin with". I thought that was, in essense, Shadow's attitude towards the world, so yeah. The Quote is from the beginning of "A Streetcar Named Desire" (by Tenassee Williams, so that doesn't belong to me either), and I used it cos Shadow kinda reminds me of the protagonist Blanche, who's mad as a box of cats. In a nasty, depressing way, not a happy, funny way (like me). So yeah. Hints of ShadAmy in here, which is funny since it means I've written more stuff about a "secondary couple" than I have on my Sonic OTP. Oh well.

Shadow, Amy and everything else that's vaguely Sonic-y belongs to SEGA and Sonic Team.

* * *

_"And so it was I entered the broken world_

_To trace the visionary company of love, it's voice_

_And instant in the wind (I know not whither hurled)_

_But not for long to hold each desperate choice."_

**Hart Crane, **_**The Broken Tower**_

* * *

Looking out at the globe from the window I have so often stood by, alone and not, I feel a strange sense of calm. Now, everything is going to end. I laugh to myself; the faker's efforts are so futile and pathetic. I'll leave them to it. Knowing them, they'll make things worse somehow. But then, maybe not. That dismal planet seems to be more resilient than I first thought. The fact that we blew up half the moon and they seem to be suffering no negative repercussions is testament to that. I'm looking over to the moon now, and the burning core that's now on full display is blazing brightly from the silvery rock. It reminds me of the humans, the molten heart of hate and decadence that's hidden underneath layers of goodness and decency. No one is immune to that, not even the Professor, not even Rouge, not even me. No one is.

Except perhaps Maria.

How could she love this planet so? I remember the way she would always ask the resources department to get her different things from Earth, just so she could have a little bit of normalcy. She got music, plant seeds (she always loved the flowers. There's nothing left of them now), books, clothes…and films. She loved films, especially romantic ones. I can't count how many times I was forced to watch _Gone with the Wind_ with her. Between taking her medicine and being completely incapacitated, she loved to just sit and watch a film with me. Sometimes we wouldn't even pay attention to the film, and we'd just talk. She loved them, though. I guess it was her way of tasting what she could never have, for she was growing up quickly in those days. I wonder what she would be like now, if she were still alive? Ah, but she'd be an old woman now, wouldn't she? Fifty years is a very long time for a human. And I'd be no different to how I am now.

I often think how her life might have planned out, had things not gone the way they did. Would she have eventually left the Arc? Would she have gotten married? Started a family? I wonder, what job would she have gotten? A singer, as her voice had been so beautiful? And actress, to star in the films she loved so much? A doctor, to put her compassionate nature to good use? Or perhaps she would have stayed on the Arc? I can only imagine that, had the project gone on for a few more years, she'd have been cured. Perhaps even immortal, like me. I'll never know. All I can do is think and imagine. And it's all **their** fault. Those wretched humans and their flawed morality! If it had not been for that, she would be alive. If they hadn't wrecked everything, maybe I would actually care that every living thing, myself included, is going to die. Maybe I would be more or less sane. Maybe I would still have a working heart. The instant Maria died, my heart broke. It broke because it was only in that instant that, as she stood with blood pumping out the wound in her stomach, completely serene and peaceful, I suddenly felt that a child could never face death so calmly. I only then realised that she was a woman, and for a split second she was more than a sister to me. But then she turned and whispered to me; "Sayonara, Shadow the Hedgehog". And that was it. Everything gone. Shattered. Destroyed. Not just the heart; don't think it's just the heart that breaks.

I still see her. In my dreams, in my mind's eye, in other people's faces, she's there. She's always there. Sometimes someone will be talking and all of a sudden they'll be using her voice, repeating things she's already told me before. Sometimes I'll see someone in the crowd who looks just like her, and she'd smile at me so sweetly, but before I can go over and say hello she's a stranger again. Maybe it's just my mind picking out little details that remind me of her. Maybe I've just lost it. Whatever it is, it scares me. I sometimes hear her when no-one else is there. I see shadows out the corners of my eyes. Soft laughter, gentle sighs. And those words, those last words whispered with a dying breath and blood-filled lungs. It goes round my head like a merry-go-round. Sometimes it's quiet, in the background, not making a nuisance of itself, but other times I can barely hear anything else, it's so loud in my ears—but then it just stops, and I'll not hear it again for a while. But sometimes at night, I hear it, her voice winding through the air, through my mind, and I hear her whisper and giggle and haunt me, so much that I can't sleep and can't think at all and my chest tightens so much I can't even **breath**. But it always goes, in the end. No matter how panicked and stressed it makes me, all I have to do is clam down, and it goes and I can breath again. Calm and resolve and ruthlessness. These things are essential for me, not just for revenge, but for my sanity. What's left of it.

And now it's happening. Everything's gone to hell, just as I wanted. I would have preferred to have just taken the cannon and blasted the planet to pieces, but I guess this way is better. They'll actually have time to tremble in fear, to say their last prayers as their doom approaches. Nothing left for them to do but wait. No hope, no last chances. Game Over.

And I shall lead the storm. I shall be the only rational person left as this dire world is obliterated from existence. And I feel nothing for it. I feel almost sorry for the planet, but not because of its fate. I feel sorry that I stopped caring. How can you care for a planet when the one thing you want most of all is to see all humans burn? When it comes to this planet, there really is nothing left to feel. Calm and resolve.

Footsteps behind me. Who could that be? I thought everyone had gone to stop the Chaos Emeralds. Unless…

"Shadow, we need you! Please, help us!"

Amy Rose. The girl who's so foolishly in love with a boy who couldn't care less. Not that I mind her presence. Her friends seem to be more annoyed with her than I am, and I'm meant to be her enemy. I have only met her once, and it was only briefly. Discussing our plan, preparing to move out, when a pair of delicate hands fling themselves around my shoulders. I remember how energetic she was, thinking I was the boy she loved…no, I have no problem with Amy Rose. But help them? She is delusional.

"It's all going according to plan. There's no reason for me to help them. Besides, there's no way to save anyone." Which is true enough. The Chaos Emeralds hold unlimited energy; nothing can stop them. And they will die in their attempt. But I can't tell her that. Why is that, I wonder?

"There has to be!" Ha. She sounds so desperate. But do I detect a hint of determination in her voice? She's stepping closer to me, and her eyes are imploring me for my – what? Compassion? I have none. The humans made sure of that.

"I know that people fight over the most trivial things. Some people may be selfish, like the Professor said...but they're basically good, if they try their best and never give up on their wishes." she says. Oh God, I feel a speech coming on. Why does she not realise? There is no hope left for me now. There never was. Even if there was, I don't deserve it. I wish that she could leave me in peace, leave me to burn.

"They always have a reason to be happy. That's why you should help them out...saving them is a good thing!" she says. The way she says this makes her sound like she's speaking to someone who's mentally deficient. Or mad. Which, I guess, she is. It's nice to know someone notices.

She sees that I am doing nothing, and that it's most likely I never **will **do anything, and her voice is turning desperate. "Shadow, I beg you! Please do it for them! Give them a chance!" Ha. As if I'd...

Wait, what is this? Amy's voice isn't there anymore. Neither is the room, space, nothing is here. Only her...and her words.

"Shadow, I beg of you, please do it for me...for a better future!" Maria gasps, her air rapidly leaving her. I press my hands to the glass and call out her name again.

"For all the people who live on that planet...give them a chance to be happy!"

Wait, wait, stop now. She never said this. I've recalled this scene countless times, been forced to relive this scene like this more times than I can count, and she **never said this.** What is she doing now? Trying to confuse me, right Maria? Another one of your practical jokes, I'm sure. Stop it, Maria. This isn't funny.

"Let them live for their dreams. Shadow, I know you can do it. That's the reason you were brought into this world."

Her smile is a strangely happy one, and I feel like a fog has been lifted out of my mind. A lie. It was all a lie, and I fell for it, and **this** is the truth. And I feel like crap for going against my word all this time. She never wanted me to destroy anything. Professor Gerald, he...messed with my mind. My memories? How much of it is real...? Doesn't matter. All I know is that I have been used. I have been a puppet all this time, controlled by strings I did not know were there. I'm sorry, Maria.

_That's what I've promised her and I must keep that promise. That's what Maria wished for..._

I never thought it was possible for me to cry, but I guess it really is possible, even for me. The girl is looking at me curiously, as if she can't believe what she's seeing.

"Shadow...?" she asks cautiously. I turn my head away from her. Heh. I wonder, why did it take this little girl, this mere **child** for me to realise the truth? I guess...she has Maria's kindness. Amy Rose. I guess I can't just leave her like this now, can I?

"I've got to go now! I have to keep my promise to Maria and you," I say to her, turning and running out the room as I say it. It appears that, even if I hate the planet, I still hold some love for the people who inhabit it. And because of that, I can't walk away just yet.


End file.
